Let it Go

We managed a brief 48 hour Staycation thanks to the help of little man’s other set of grandparents who offered us a brief respite from full time parenting.

The day we dropped him off was a bit dreary, too cold and damp for a hike, so we decided to visit the city of Lowell where we both had some roots from way back when. Hubby and I both attended the same college in Lowell, although at different times. Hubby graduated in June, I started the following September and at the ripe old age of 19 instead of continuing with my studies and receiving letters after my name, I acquired the initials of Mrs. preceding my first husband’s name.

The second of our Staycation days, we embarked on a trip to the High Ledges to see some beautiful foliage in western Massachusetts. It’s a hike I first went on with my children and members of my church close to 30 years ago and the spectacular views of bright fall foliage from high atop a ledge overlooking the valley below, never cease to amaze me. As with any woodland walk in the fall, the ground is covered in a combination of pine needles and fallen leaves, still colorful. With the light filtering through the trees, it’s like a magic carpet.

It was nice to have a few days in our home of normal retirement life, I find it’s the little things I miss, like sleeping with all the lights out, not supervising homework and shower times and able to watch whatever we wanted on Netflix without worrying about the effects on little ears and eyes.  It felt good just to be a couple in our own place for a few short days.

In my life, there have been so many expectations of how the path should have gone versus the actual path, those pesky what-ifs. Beginning way back when I started college, I fully intended to graduate with honors and begin a music career, but life got in the way and instead I got a head start in the marriage and mommy race. Looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a thing because if I had, I wouldn’t have my daughters and I couldn’t imagine my life without my gang of girls.

The what ifs are the stuff that can make us crazy…what if I had done things differently as a parent, would I be raising another child in my retirement years? What if she had made different decisions, would she be with her son today? Every now and then I find myself wanting to wander into that crazy space if for just a moment.

As we walked through the woods this past weekend and enjoyed the trees in all their splendor, we accept that the foliage season is short but very special, and after the vibrancy of the color the leaves drop and fade. The trees let go of their leaves on the promise of new life to come.

I wonder why it can be hard for us sometimes to let go of what is or what was planned to make way for the new life that is yet to come? I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that we need to let go sometimes to make room for what’s to come. Seems like pretty good advice, after all, it does work well for the trees.

Happy Fall

 

5 thoughts on “Let it Go

  1. Your outlook is everything. So glad you and Jeff had time to recenter and just be a couple without the additional obligations that life brings. I have found myself craving the woods and have a special reverence for this season, when the leaves let go of hundreds of pieces of themselves, trusting they will have the knowledge and energy in the spring to grow anew. So much this season is a letting go for building anew.

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  2. I love this, Pat. My sentiments exactly! Everything we’ve done has made us who we are. I have no regrets (well…..maybe one! That 1st cigarette I smoked that started a 30 year addiction! But I quit, and I’m proud of that!) I’m so glad I’m on your e-mail list! I just love your posts, such great food for thought. I really look forward to them. Thank you!

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  3. Ever read Bill Bryson “A Walk in the Woods”? Trying to find himself by hiking the Appalachian Trial. Laugh out loud funny and sometimes profound.

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  4. Truth be told.. the woulda shoulda and could as of life have held me back in so many ways. In letting go I’m finally able to begin to make some changes long needed.

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  5. As always, I love reading your blog, Pat.   Oddly enough my family has a connection with Lowell as well.  My mother, Agnes Finn, was working at a  hospital there when she met a man named John Spier, who became a US Marine.  They had a son, my brother Jack who is now 90 and lives in California.  I can’t find a marriage certificate!  Jack was born in Lowell though.  I always knew there was a mystery about my Mom and I am speculating that it is that she had a child out of wedlock and kept him.  In Census records she uses the name Mrs. Agnes Spier.  Thinking about my Mom’s life – she spend more than 40 years in a mental hospital – always breaks my heart. Love you,Ann n Monday, October 14, 2019, 05:49:58 p.m. NDT, Bradymom wrote: | Patricia Keay posted: “We managed a brief 48 hour Staycation thanks to the help of little man’s other set of grandparents who offered us a brief respite from full time parenting.The day we dropped him off was a bit dreary, too cold and damp for a hike, so we decided to visit ” | |

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